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She respected me, and let me decide. I think my knee jerk reaction was I wanted to date Lisa. I knew I could stand up to everyone and get away with it. The question was, just because I could, should I?Part of being a leader was acting like one. Lisa Felton had an animal magnetism that drew me to her. Would I honestly take the relationship past just sex? That was the real question. Don't for one minute think I wouldn't do something just for sex. I was a teenage boy after all with hormones coursing through my body. Hell, I got a hard on several times a day. Lisa Felton was one of the causes of the swelling.The thing I needed to think of was if I dated Lisa Felton would it in some way hurt the people around me. According to Peggy it would. Last year Cindy, Beth, Suzanne and Eve all agreed it would. Even Tami had made not so veiled threats to me if I dated her. If all the women I cared about felt so strongly about me not dating her, shouldn't I listen?Then again there was the whole. And when she was not you terrorized me old man. I fucking hated you.’ The old man’s eyes grew wide. ‘I’m not here to tell you goodbye old man. I don’t feel pity for you in your situation. I just want to tell you what to expect. You used to terrorize me. You always scared my sisters. You always used my mother like a weapon against the entire family. But all that’s ok old man. because as I speak my mom thinks I am up here making my peace with you. Yes, she’s here. Waiting. She’s down in the lobby with one of her Reader’s Digest condensed books in her hand. And for the first time since you came here she feels good old man. She thinks I am up here telling you I love you, I look up to you, I need you. I can live with that lie, knowing that it’s finally time for you to face what you did to us all. You bastardized our entire family. You lied to my mother, you hurt us all and slowly turned her against us. I remember so clearly how you used to call me a fag and a queer and a pussy whenever.
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